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6.3/10
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6 user 1 critic

Don't Go Near the Water (1957)

On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line Sea Duty.

Director:

Charles Walters
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Nominated for 2 Golden Globes. Another 1 win & 4 nominations. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Glenn Ford ... Lt. J.G. Max Siegel
Gia Scala ... Melora Alba
Earl Holliman ... Adam Garrett
Anne Francis ... Lt. Alice Tomlen
Keenan Wynn ... Gordon Ripwell
Fred Clark ... Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash
Eva Gabor ... Deborah Aldrich
Russ Tamblyn ... Ens. Tyson
Jeff Richards ... Lt. Ross Pendleton
Mickey Shaughnessy ... Farragut Jones
Howard Smith ... Adm. Junius Boatwright
Romney Brent ... Mr. Alba - Melora's Father
Mary Wickes ... Janie
Jack Straw Jack Straw ... Lt. Cmdr. Gladstone
Robert Nichols Robert Nichols ... Lt. Cmdr. Hereford
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Storyline

On a small island in the South Pacific, the Navy's P.R. department is spending WWII without getting near a ship. Lt. Max Siegal is the Second in command to a clueless Commanding Officer who believes Sea Duty to be the worst punishment he can give one of his men. Siegal has to keep the foreign correspondents happy, keep his Commander out of trouble and figure out a way for one of the enlisted sailors to date the lady Lieutenant of his dreams - all while convincing a certain island schoolteacher that he's the man for her. Written by April M. Cheek <Aravis2713@aol.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

C'mon in! The fun is free...from the rollicking Number One best-seller that rocked the nation with laughter...exploding on the screen in sheer happy hilarity See more »


Certificate:

See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

December 1957 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Geh nicht zu nah ans Wasser See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

$2,495,000 (estimated)

Gross USA:

$4,265,000, 31 December 1957

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$6,140,000, 31 December 1957
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Avon Productions (II) See more »
Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

4-Track Stereo (Westrex Recording System)| Mono (Perspecta Sound)

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Goofs

When he appears, Glenn Ford has nothing on his collar but in the CO's office Ford has lieutenant JG bars. As an oft-proclaimed naval reserve officer, Ford should've noticed. See more »

Quotes

Gordon Ripwell: You're taking good care of me, kid! Went to Harvard, didn't you, Junior?
Ens. Tyson: Princeton.
Gordon Ripwell: Six of one, half a dozen of the other! They're both pantywaist factories. I never go within spittin' distance of a college myself.
Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: [sotto voce] I sensed that.
See more »


Soundtracks

Anchors Aweigh
(uncredited)
Music by Charles A. Zimmerman and lyrics by Alfred Hart Miles
Heard as a theme
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Episodic Island Comedy
31 December 2013 | by wes-connorsSee all my reviews

On a picturesque South Pacific island, during World War II, a US Navy base handles public relations. Unmarried star lieutenant Glenn Ford (as Max Siegel) takes visiting congressmen on a tour. Beautiful native schoolteacher Gia Scala (as Melora Alba) catches his eye. Enlisted sailor Earl Holliman (as Adam Garrett) likes the way pretty perfumed Anne Francis (as Alice Tomlen) "crosses her legs." Laidback young Russ Tamblyn (as Tyson) doesn't like washing teen-spirited sheets for war reporter Keenan Wynn (as Gordon Ripwell). Comic commander Fred Clark (as Clinton "Marblehead" Nash) is in charge. If you stick around, you'll see head-turning Eva Gabor (as Deborah "Debbie" Aldrich and foul-mouthed Mickey Shaughnessy (as Farragut Jones)...

The all-star cast is likable. However, the juvenile romances, snickering innuendo and silly slapstick don't mix well. Best part is a very funny episode involving Mr. Shaughnessy reputedly using what is politely called "The F-word," but you have to wade through much tediousness to get there. The title "Don't Go Near the Water" refers to the fact that the characters play on dry land – well, until we see Ms. Gabor's lacy black underwear. This was based on a novel, which suggests there might have been a more interesting story somewhere. Although Glenn Ford was then too big a movie star to do it, this would have made a fine half-hour situation comedy starring Mr. Ford, Mr. Clark and Mr. Tamblyn, who provide a solid anchor and cover their demographics.

***** Don't Go Near the Water (11/14/57) Charles Walters ~ Glenn Ford, Fred Clark, Russ Tamblyn, Earl Holliman


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